holy shnikies

I'm in Van Nuys. Just finished the shoot I'm doing audio on for John n co. Last night we ran from 9am until 3 am. I slept until 14:00. I spent 5 days straight at the Palms in vegas working my ass off. Tomorrow I'm going with grandma to a labor day fiesta in Valencia. Tuesday I head to the mexican american border for yet another shoot. I'll be back on saturday. I miss you all. Color commentary forthcomming.

No time for an update. I'll have something up by Monday. Google into that good night my children.

SoOOo: I went to Summer's party and it was amazing. Summer was obviously suprised and touched by my appearance and so was I. Suddenly I was surrounded by a shockingly large number of familiar faces whom I never quite knew. I spoke with so many former aquantances and mystery boys and girls next door from my "college years": my time at UCSD. At midnight they all threw Erin into the pool because now it was her birthday and we all jumped in the baby blue water . There was a water slide and champagne and the hollywood hills rolled off in refrain as if the west would go on forever. It brought back the blue period of my life. Baby blue. I won't mention how I took the 101 north to the 5 south to the 170 south back onto the 101 but this time south and thus went in a large circle and had to do it all over again. No that will not be discussed. Sera and Jesse are both way turned on by LA which is nice to hang around. So is Chris n' crew too. It is refreshing since so many are so down on this town. I think Los Angeles rewards careful study, but I've never been too much of a scholar. And today I hung out with John at his studio learning portable mixers n' stuff. Nice. Then me and colin and chris played music. yay! In 9 hours i'll be on the road to vegas. Weeeeeee. I'm feeling a bit special cus I'm the only PA going. My clothes are dirty and my head is cloudy. I haven't gotten paid yet for any greystone stuff. I could use the cash. Anyway I have no idea what to expect on this venture, and I'll keep ya'll posted. @=

Salon.com News | Franken bests Fox

Salon.com News | Franken bests Fox

Prima Donna cheese is awesome

Weapons of The Bible Click above for some freestyle pics of day one at the Agua Dulce shoot. I bet the vegas photos will be better. Plus these are my first shots from my first digital camera. Last night Chris & I hung out at with Paris crew Ida, Neda, Jennifer, Julie, Anise & co. It was really fun. It was Ida's birthday party and there were all kinds of tasty treats and saucy drinks. Ida is a good belly dancer and I am a bad pool player. I had this Phillipino desert made with bananas. Delish. LA is getting more fun by the day. Today I'll be guarding lives 14:00-17:00 and then going to Summer's birthday party. I haven't seen her in about 4 years. She doesn't know I'm comming. I'm Sera's suprise.

he buzzez like a fridge

all next week I'll get paid to be: in V E G A S And I won't have a day off before or after, but fuck it, kicking ass feels good. Tomorrow it's rice sprout and Animo and parties. Saturday it's lifeguarding and parties. Sunday it's off to the valley to learn the craft of audio engineering for TV and Film. Monday it's me and Interstate 15 way past Barstow. I'm off to the state where prostitution is legal and pot will get you 20 years minimum. Or something. After Vegas I'll be on a shoot that I'm comping for the dude that's teaching me sound. I'll be sound guy. Shweet. the shoot is a little piece about a sperm and an egg deciding whether to get it together or not. The sperm and egg are played by a man and woman respectively without costumes and I think it takes place in an office or something. It should be interesting. How much prettier the world seems when you're learning, doing, and making some decent casheesh. Still, I'd rather be in love or with my loved or generally loved up up up and out, or is it in? Prepositions are amazing little creatures.

tuesday 's gone

I'm sun super-saturated and have that warm tingly I-need-aloe feeling. But what I'm gonna get is another long day at Valasquez Rocks in Agua Dulce Canyon. I'm too tired for details but let it be known that David beat Goliath. Thank god. Meanwhile Greystone Inc. has hinted that they want me to come on the Vegas shoot. This would mean a paid trip to vegas all next week making a TV show. I won't say more, not that I'm superstitious or nothing. Much love y'all (vegas baby VEGAS).

a quick note from the field:

Thank you for your e-mails and phone calls me. It has meant lot. I haven't figured out the exact trajectory of my life, but possibilities once again appear... possible. I have my friends to thank for that, both of them. Seriously, thanks everyone. Those of you who didn't write should suck some tailpipes. I am enjoying this week's work in sunny Agua Dulce Canyon. I will post pictures soon with my new[ly handed down] digital camera. I apologise for the double pic of myself on the main page and here in the blog. One of them is just a doppelganger but I haven't figured out which. By the way kids, we have to save this world. Who'se with me? What is the most effective way? Polemics, law, politics? Fight the power or join and change it?

I got a haircut

a couple days ago for the interview. There it is. I'll be out of town working on Conquest again. See y'all Friday. Have a good work week everyone. That's an order.

Altercation rulz

Patriotic Gore read it

[in this case I really do] hate to say I told you so, death-dealing neo-con hawk psychos

Salon.com News | 9/11-style attack predicted in next year: "Another Sept. 11-style terrorist attack in the United States is highly likely,' the report states. 'Networks of militant Islamist groups are less extensive in the U.S. than they are in Western Europe, but U.S.-led military action in Afghanistan and Iraq has exacerbated anti-U.S. sentiment." I never understood how killing people by the thousands and then hanging their countries would make us safer from people who are motivated by hatred and religion. Ironic that people are motivated by religion and hatred. Didn't god tell us to be all fuzzy wuzzy with each other? So how can she make the hate-filled feel so rightious? Of course the US attacks aren't motivated by safety, as we have been told, they are motivated by the west's fundamentalism: $$$ Dick Cheney is a $$$ fundamentalist fanatic I assure you. Probably plans to BUY his 72 virgins. As proof: passing a tax cut for the rich with a deficit like the one we got going is a violation of the seperation between church and state.

"Mass Media" by the living legends

“in our society success makes the man, so you have to get a job this job gets you a check and the check buys you shit, and the shit gets you respect. And the more shit you get the higher your status, the better you look and feel in your designer clothes and luxury automobiles. ooh you buy sex appeal. a true success. and then only are you attractive to the opposite sex next you start to date hopefully find a mate and together you create a brand new consumer the cycle mass media helps perpetuate.”

Remember tuesday night how I was sick with allergies and making political jokes out of it? Well that night shit got really really bad. One of my worst attacks ever. And all this in between days on site for Conquest, the TV show I've been PAing on. So tuesday it wa so bad I couldn't sleep, even though I was utterly demolished from work and needed to wake up at 6:30 to do it all over again. In fact I wrote this unfinished homage to a bad allergy attack: "With all the wisecracks i made light of my allergy situation, but since its going to fuck with my ability to sleep tonight and may very well cost me this PA job I'm digging, let me get into the shit. Tonight it's bad, it's really really bad. Shotgun to the dome bad. I would say it is misery of the highest order, but that can't be true, right? I can say it is certainly an apogee in personal wretchedness. People, understandably, have trouble appreciating the disturbing effects that my hay-fever-style allergies may have. It's not as obviously awful as a migraine headache, for example, a horror my mother often experiences. In fact pain is not really what distinguishes the allergy experience, at least not for me; although many forms of pain make an appearance. I think that may be what is hard to grasp about the misery I experience. If it isn't especially painful, how bad can it be? I am not skilled enough as a writer to log most of the sensations that I experience: the simple claustrophobia of not being able to breathe through my nose, the bubbles that expand inside my face, the dull ache behind my eyes that stupefies, the other dull pain where my jaw muscles are. Then there are sharp itches that I feel in places I will never be able to scratch: deep up my nose (inside my brain), behind my eyes, down my throat. I itch intensely in many places that I can touch too. I also rub certain areas uncontrollably and over the course of hours these spots become tender and red, then later painful to the touch. The corners of my eyes, my nostrils, my scalp-- all these areas become highly uncomfortable to touch in any way, but I can't stop. The overload of discomfort sends me into this kind of seizure. Every so often I shiver with itch and my arms wildly rub my face and body. This shiver may be a misfire of the same synapses that cause me to sneeze. It sucks. The sinus experience deserves its own section. These pockets in my face become pressurized and depressurized rapidly as changes occur. Mucus flows from one pocket to another or a sneeze changes the dynamic. This causes a rather bad headache, and makes my ears get all funky too…. I gotta stop writing soon and there are a couple more things I wanna say so I'll rework this section later. These experiences many people have had to some extent or another, but I believe that me on a bad is a whole different plateau. Trust me I take no pride in saying so. When things are real bad, such as tonight, I get some extra bad features. My sneezes begin to smell of vomit, because I am sneezing traces of just that. Further, I often will try to alleviate pressure in my nasal passageway by holding my nostrils shut and blowing into my closed nose. This can power through the blockage for a minute or so sometimes. When things get real bad and I have been doing this for some time (by now it's instinctive), air comes out of my eye. Yes ladies and gentlemen, air pops out of my fucking eye. It happens very fast, like the air broke through something it shouldn't have and escaped as fast as possible. The feeling is always surprising the first time it happens in an episode, but becomes less so. It feels like a sharp prick in my eye, and also comes with a psychological hit that I find pretty soul shattering. I'm done writing about this tonight, even though I missed a lot of stuff, especially the powerful sneeze that comes on top of everything else, wracking my body like an earthquake. And they come in barrages. Well maybe this is ridiculous cus everybody knows what it is like to have a cold, but im pretty sure its not because I know what I know. I can't write anymore its almost three I gotta wake up in 3.5 hours." But I didn't fall asleep after that, I stayed awake until past 4am. I had a sort of mental crisis that hasn't yet been resolved. I was certain that sick and sleep deprived as I would be, there was no way I would be of use on the set Wednesday, so I should stay home and rest for my sake and theirs. But I felt like such a pathetic loser for being too sick to do the job. I begin to feel so awful about my pitiable body with its diseases and my life that was lost at sea. I couldn't even make it to the work I was getting, how would I ever make something of myself? What did I wanna do anyway? Was I staying in LA or leaving town? Where the fuck was I going? Most of all I felt bad just that I would miss another day of life, progress, and cash because of my damned allergies. So i decided I would wake up and call in the morning at least to be respectable. In the morning I felt like the gum that's been under your shoe for months. But I felt so bad about being a no show I thought to myself, well, I'll drive up there and tell them in person I'm too sick, then I'll go to my parents place and crash all day. So I drove up to the ranch we were shooting at that day. Turns out I went off to the wrong side of the ranch, and so did some others who hadn't been before. All of us sat with our cars in the shade of some enormous pine trees and waited. We assumed everyone else was late. When that theory became untenable we searched around and found the site. Turns out the ranch was an old haunt for 80 action shoots. They had a fake ghost town for western shoot-outs, and a proper modern train on tracks for who knows what. The whole thing was unreal. Imagine, a fake ghost town that gained some street cred since it was no longer used as a set. It was a real ghost town built to be a fake ghost town. Dig? Meanwhile the whole zone was overrun with sad farm animals: cattle, horses, dogs, and one adorable but stubborn donkey-mule feller. All these animals were running into the shots and us PAs had to literally be animal hustlers. We made all those funny "ya" sounds. I even tried using my beemer to drive the animals off the site (which, after all, was their pasture). By they way milk comes from this really gross hairy sack that hangs from the back of the cow like some sort of alien parasite. Eeew. So I worked the whole day. Sometimes I felt like I was in a dream, sometimes I wanted to die, but I made it through the whole day in one piece. I just didn’t have the heart to leave. Plus the scene was so weird and funny, horses eating watermelon while we shot crossbows at medieval armor in the so-cal sun. This week I'm back on the show. We're doing "weapons of the bible." Cool. Still in crisis though. I'll tell you all about my interview at NL tomorrow. It is an awesome place, and pretty much the perfect job if video games is where I wanna go. But now it's in my face and may be mine if I want it and I find myself unsure if I do. I need to get some serious insight into my own desires for myself real quick. If I take that job I will be 100% committed and into it, otherwise what' the point? If you have any advice I could use it. Please email me. But I'm pretty sue this is one of those things where nobody can really give advice, I just gotta figure it from the inside out. Email me anyway.

I've got a lot to tell but the night is old and so am I. I need to rest. The shoot was really fun and I'm doing it again next week: "Weapons of the Bible." The interview went well and/but is slowly changing my perspective on the future. My grandmother is in town for a month. Matt left LA for NY. The webcam software trial period expired. I'll deal with that over the week. I got paid from my first eBay business sale. I spoke to Joe but then my phone died. Alright.

A blog is like a friend that never judges you but she isn't exactly tight lipped with what you tell her.

Is advice from a priest or rabbi or what have you per se any more valid than from a tarot reader? What about calling one of those 1-900 psychic hotlines? The pagan tradition has been around a long time too, so don't say monotheism and its purvayors have time on their side. A headline you will NEVER SEE: "200 killed today when athiest rebels took heavy shelling from the agnostic stronghold to the north." I just reworded some shit I heard by a guy named Doug Stanhope. Pretty good point I think. Yet people are afraid what we will do if we DON'T have religion. Our president is so wrapped up in the flag and the bible he thinks personal responsibility has to do with the toilet flusher. I know I said I wouldn't update so consider this your lucky day. I feel DISGUSTING. I ate nasty food all day and got greedy with my dinner and now my stomach is paying me back with excrutiating cramps. Well I deserve it im such a piece of crap. Meanwhile my allergies are flaring like Ronald Regan's hemorrhoids. My eyes are itching like Ken Starr to convict Clinton and my nose is stuffed like Bush's campaign coffers. He has such a mandate from exxon, haliburton, and lockheed martin. I digress. We shot for 13+ hours in the summer sun. Basically the entire time the sunu was out, so was I. 1/3 of my body is sunburnt and i gotta wake up in 7 hours to get my ass to canyon country to do it again. Cool. I just wish I didn't feel like the poop page.

Since I was so rude yesterday and I won't be able to update for the next three days, let me give a brief play by play. Today I got hired by Greystone to PA in Santa Clarita for the next three days on Conquest, the TV show which airs on the history channel. I'll make more money in the next three days then in a month at EB. Really. So I had to tell my boss at EB that I needed to do this other job tomorrow and wednesday and thursday and I pretty much tolkd him I had another job in general and he was cool and found someone to fill in for me and then told me he would find somebody more interested to work at EB and get promoted and stuff. So I kinda quit, or you could say I was fired, but it either way it was totally cool, no hard feelings, he said he would do the same thing if he were me. SOOOO, I don't work at EB ever again and i got this other job and I went to valenencia to get some picture frames to sell on ebay and then I got a call from NovaLogic who totally wants my ass to come in for an interview on Friday. I didn't let you blograts know but I applied for a production job over there. So I scored the interview there, sweet. THEN, tonight as im putting stuff up on ebay I get an email from the center for human rights. Seems they want someone who can speak spanish and they wanna know if that's me. But it ain't. Too bad, I really wanted that job. I could LEARN spanish.... verdad? Miller I wanna call you about the demo and stuff but i cant cus tomorrow I wake up at 6:30 and get to topanga at 7:30 and work all fucking day at the shoot. if it's anything like the last shoot it'll be hard work good times. I should add that it was Alexandra who hooked me up with that cool NOFX tune. Thanks mate! Have a good work week everyone. things are looking up, I mean Lopez and Affleck look like they might not be able to make more movies, so Bush might lose. It'll be ok, right?

i didn't exist today. Go away... But if you need SOMETHING, I put a cool political nofx song in the new and sparse downloads section.

When I watch movies I dislike them a solid 80% of the time. My dad always says, "Jordan you need to suspend your disbelief." Sometimes I can and do, but typically I don't. I don't think I have the capabilities to suspend disbelief that are necessary to be happy in an everyday kinda job making widgets or marketing soda to kids or whatever. I don't have the suspension of disbelief to accept traditional religion. I don't have the suspension of disbelief to ignore death stepping closer with each passing nanomoment. Well, it's amazing what a person can forget under the right socio-economic conditions. Anyhow I forget what I don't believe all the time, don't I? So why am I playing the different? Is there no way to write that isn't full of sophomoric cliche or is that just me? I got The Sundowners's new demo or EP or whatever it is in the mail and I'm really excited about it. I played it for a few people already and listened to the whole thing about 4 times in the hours since I got it. Still, I'm waiting to listen more before making comments. I will say for now that the physical packaging is the coolest I have EVER seen for a cd and I will copy many aspects of if I ever have the chance to for whatever reason. I wanted to listen to the older songs for comparison but I don't have that cd cus I gave my copy to Cohen (for whom it quickly become a favorite) and thesundowners.org is being revamped so I can't listen there. I need the old demo to complete my collection. Gotta catch 'em all.

It's disgusting how many television and radio outlets use the abstraction of themselves, "the media," as an excuse to expose their own foul penetralia. "Tonight on FOX NEWS: Will the tabloids smear Fartzineggar? With his scandalous past one must wonder just what skeletons the media might pull out of the closet in this campaign. Find out what they might be right after satan rubs his genetalia all over your face for the next two mintues and fifteen seconds." Getting sick & going out. If Arnold becomes governor I'm gonna lose all hope. I used to be so optimistic about this whole human race deal.

Today I really mastered having some free time. I worked out. I ran a mile and lifted some weights. My body is in shock cus it has been forever and I was walking funny after the mile. Seriously. Anyway I feel great now and I want to go back right now (24 hour fitness) but I think I better wait until tomorrow. After that I hit up Whole Foods and they got a whole lot of my money. 83 bux and the fridge still looks empty. I got some fancy cheeses, some fancy tomatoes, sprouted bread, crimini mushrooms, fruit, and a slab of salmon which I grilled up delicately this evening for a terrific dinner and I actually ate with another human being. Laura was around and hungry. She's been sick and I felt good about providing her with some home-cooked salad and salmon. It was the first time I've bought fish since I moved into this apartment and one of the first times I've had cooked any meat or fish since moving in, although Claudia and I cooked a touch of meat a couple times. I read some Nietzsche, passed a part in Metroid Prime that had been giving me trouble, worked on my education in the drums, applied for work, took a nap, did some stuff on the web site, watched Home Movies, and topped it all off with some Hagen Daaz. Amen. I don't wanna become the guy who sits down at the computer every night after dinner to log my culinary expliots and daily movements. "A man who has his why in life can put up with almost any how." Nietzsche said that, or something very close. I still don't know what my why is, but I'm glad that today my how was pretty sweet.

Let me add that perhaps Nietzsche's greatest prejudice was against women.

I fixed the broken links both here and on the links page. I made the essays section nicer, but it still needs more content. I added the poop book which some people have already pooped in. I joined 24 hour fitness. I started reading Nietzsche again. I think I'll use him for my independant study. Folks (especially relatives) inevitably bring up Nietzsche's rep as an anti-semite. When you have a genius of his caliber who is blowing open so many concepts and attacking pretty much every idol, discussing whether he was an anti-semite is somehow to miss the point. Anyhow he had at least as much against "the Englishman" as "the Jew," and his real disdain was for "the Christian." But for Nietzsche these words don't delineate groups of people, rather they encapsulate perspectives that were antithetical to him. He wrote "The Antichrist," not "The Anti-semite" so keep things in persepctive. Most Christians deal pretty well with folks who don't like the premesis of their religion-- of course they can sit back smugly and imagine that person's eternal damnation in a lake of hellfire. I guess Jews have to be vigilant 'cus they've been bit in the ass enough times to stay on the lookout.

I applied for a job at the center for human rights. They are looking for somebody to maintain their websites, manage their mass emails etc... I hope they call me because it seems like a good reason to get up in the morning. One thing I learned when teaching at Animo is that a job is so much better when you know that what you are doing is worthwhile. I'd like to tap into that again. Ever since bushboy started calling out peeps like ashcroft, poindexter, and dr. strangelove, oops I mean Henry Kissinger to head his departments I've wanted to somehow do something for this country. That has only increased through the stuff I read these days about the patriot act II and total information awareness. As Robert Anton Wilson said, "The constitution may have its problems but its a hell of a lot better than the system we have now."

Is life short or long? Now most of you are saying "life is short. You only live once and before you know it you're dead so eat pizza smoke cigarettes and generally sex life up and down until you drop." A few others have revolted against this cliched perspective. "Life is long," you rebut. "Each hour is an eternity and they drift into endless days weeks months and years that loll on by as lazy as a dog in summer. If you make a bad choice you will have a lot of time to sit around and regret it so slow down and be smart kid. I smoked/drank/sexed/McDonald'sed and in the end it did nothing for me." Then of course the meta cats out there know the question is absurd. "The average life cannot be called long or short because its duration is all we know. In comparison to the life of a quark it is endless, in comparison to the life of a star it is not even a hair on the universe's ass." But despite what positivists and other anti-philosophers may say, when we wake up in the morning we must act within a perspective. We must either go out looking for thrills or try to develop ourselfves into who we wish to be. Krishnamurti says neither attitude is going to help. As soon as you want to be anything you are a million miles away from home. I know I'm a few trillion miles away. I wish someone would take me home or tell me how to get there but it just doesn't work that way, does it? I still mostly can't see the light on the other side of the false dichotomies and paradoxes. But at least I don't have work today.

sentences containing the word "jibbah" in the newsgroups: "and in my opinion perfect markings for a pinto.. nearly 50 -50 she is registerable pinto and half arabain.. and this filly has a jibbah that puts alot of purebred arabians to shame." "Gloriously alone, I whipped out the joint and gin I'd brought along, mixed myself a cocktail, smoked a jibbah, and watched the most fantastic lightning storm pounding the city." "I had enough a your jibbah-jabbah!" "I applied the filter in asln to out Australian Troll, Herc and it > knocked 136 posts of complete fucking jibbah jabbah right out dawinda! > LOL, hee hee!" "i really feel like trey was given ample room to fill his role, and he squandered it by playing the same old jibbah jabbah that he plays with phish." "Yes horses have sinuses, the jibbah, the dish which gives an Arabian horse its distinctive profile is caused by enlarged frontal sinuses." "ditokous camwood prothrombin jibbah resnatch intervenient taxine unspeculatively mitigative Phaca umbelloid sicklemia piperidge deconventionalize witchingly uplook Osteoglossidae panteleologism lile enneaspermous uncloistral canvass quatercentenary poorish Newtonist cheesy uninterchangeable Ophiuroidea haploperistomous Cataphrygian dystocial" ... goodnight.

Oh, so Karaoke is not on mondays. On mondays is a blues band that plays johnny be good and a bartender who brings you more whiskey when you ask for the check and then calls you and your buddy fucking idiots. So then on mondays you walk to the drugstore down wilshire and buy some candy and go home and play halo.

SoooOOooo, today I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything I ever thought it could be. Well that's not true. I did do some stuff and the not doing that I did do wasn't that cool. Nothing is true. Yes I know that if that statement IS true, then it simultaniously CAN'T be true, but that just shows how true it is, right? Now im gonna go play drums! I'm so excited. Karaoke at the gas light tonight perhaps, although we made wednesday karaoke night and I don't wanna break ranks or nothing. I think I'll say to hell with wednesday and go tonight. Anyone wanna meet me there?

I call this one: Unfinishe She walks in three part harmony and she smiles in open chords. She Thank you, thank you very much.

A long nite at EB culminating in feelings of worthlessness and disease. Afterwards I watched La Femme Nikita (the original french movie) and it was better than anything I've seen in a while. First of all, Paris all over the place which is a turn on. The begining and end of the movie are odd and out of place but the performance by Anne Parillaud as Nikita just kills all, or maybe it's just the character and story, not the performance. The movie's writer & director Luc Besson, Anne's husband at the time, uses most of the movie to make the viewer love love the ultra cute drug addict turned assasin. The movie's final scene depicts her lover Marco and her mentor Bob smoking and lamenting that they won't see her again; and when the credits started to roll, I felt like I was in the room with them, and would miss her just as much. Doubtless, I'll fall out of love in my sleep.

The party was a success, the landlord shut it down around 2:30 and by that time at least 2 males from eastern europe and 1 from porterville had removed their shirts out of excitement while dancing with continental females to favorites like "Walking on Sunshine" and "Mambo #5." I was feeling sick with alergies and mostly stayed out of the fray. No, I don't judge a party to be a success when males remove their shirts. I do however consider it a "leading indicator," as opposed to female shirt removal, which is more of a "lagging (but hopefully not sagging) indicator." I got a lot of valuable advice about eastern europe from those that grew up there. That'll help as I plan my next move. Yeah, the one I said I already had planned... Now I don't again but it looks like Europe and/or New York will be involved. Anyone know how to get me a job in Italy or France? Drop me a line.

Alright bitches. Party chez moi tonight. Its a bash put on by a cadre of Romanians celebrating summer, sweat, and eastern european top 40 tunes. If you have any questions you should call me.

ungeh. But I like the stairs.